Craving – The state of mind

The most important thing we can do for our well being is to build and maintain our energy. As per my own experiences and what I’ve read in one of the classical books like Laws of Success and even in the works of modern writers like Darius Foroux, our whole energy is the addition of the three different types of energies –

1. Mental Energy
2. Physical Energy
3. Emotional Energy

If any one of these energies slips through the crack, then everything goes for a toss. So our main goal every day should be to build and maintain all these different types of energies. But as we know, as our day passes by we start feeling depleted by one energy or the other. So how to keep these 3 energies sustained in our body?

1. Mental Energy – Mindfulness practice is key for this. Every day, sit quietly for some time and meditate. It can be any type of meditation – Mindfulness meditation with an app (like Headspace) or Mantra based meditation like Transcendental Meditation (TM) etc. When we sit with ourselves, it gives us clarity and we can look inwards. Doing Journaling is also a great way to clear up your mental mess and find clarity. After waking up if you write a few pages of whatever is there on your mind, maybe your previous day’s thoughts or anything which is bothering you, write it down and you’ll immediately see the shift in your mental state towards clarity.
2. Physical Energy – This is mainly about eating clean and exercising. If you eat good nutrition and exercise every day. It’s a sure shot way to increase your physical energy which then sustains throughout the day.
3. Emotional Energy – Last but not least is emotional energy, which is one of the most important aspects of Homosapiens’ well being. One can maintain their sanity if they keep healthy human Interaction. Sharing your thoughts with others, laughing with them and keeping in touch. All of this increases our emotional energy.

But there is an amazing co-relation between all these 3 types of energies. To elaborate more on this subject, I asked one of my expert friends – Bhupinder Singh Budwal from Navi Mumbai, India, who is the founder of The FnF [Food, Nutrition, Fitness] Coaching. Bhupinder is a certified Nutritionist from the Institute of Nutrition and Fitness Sciences. He’s also Meta Health certified Practitioner. He has been able to integrate Food with Emotions (one of the 3 types of energies I described earlier), helping clients to use food to heal their health issues and injuries.

Bhupinder and I have been in touch since past 3-4 years as he’s also a passionate runner and part of the running community in Navi Mumbai.

In this story, Bhupinder shares how his unique theory of working with emotional aspect along with the nutritional aspect of well being started and how he further connected the dots of Food Emotion Therapy (FET) – a therapy invented by him which has made his coaching very unique and started benefiting his clients pragmatically.

P.S.: This story is edited for better readability, keeping the context of the story unchanged.

[This story is part of the Lifestyle Design in Action series]

Enters Bhupinder Singh Budwal

Being a Nutrition Coach since the past 5 years I wanted to go further to provide value with my coaching. I was teaching about mindfulness, nutrition and exercise to my clients. But I knew a piece of the puzzle was missing.

About a year ago, I was going through a training session under Master Trainer Dr Anu Mehta who teaches Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). At the end of the first day of the EFT session, all the trainees were asked to get one food item which they crave on the next day’s training session.

On my way back home, I was wondering what should I bring to the class tomorrow. As I reached home I asked my wife Pawanpreet, What do I crave for? Before she could answer, my mind whispered – “Blueberry Cheesecake”.

I was excited to know why do I connect with this particular food item on my prime sweet craving days. Next day I took the pastry to the class and was excited to unlearn the art of Craving. The class went as per schedule, every passing hour I was only thinking what would I get out of this Blueberry Cheesecake craving. The wait was finally over post-lunch at about 3 pm. Dr Anu said, Let’s see what’s in each one’s plate, What do you Crave for?

Cravings that came to the class were – Chicken Tandoori, Chilly Chicken, Samosa, Vada Pav, Chocolate, Laddoo, Chips and Cakes.

Another peer trainee – Gauri, unfortunately, was not able to get her favourite food item to class and the best part was – her craving was also Blueberry Cheesecake. There I was, sitting with her pastry in my plate with a smile. I did agree to give my plate with an open (but heavy) heart as Dr Anu was about to perform an EFT session on her for her craving. Only one of us could do it with one unique food item, so Gauri and my Blueberry Cheesecake were it.

The best part about Dr Anu’s class is, there is so much energy which is developed in her training sessions, that everyone learns (and unlearn) about themselves more than expected. So I knew, I would get an answer to my Blueberry Cheesecake craving, even though the therapy is being performed on Gauri.

As the session began Gauri looked, smelled & tasted the cake; while Dr Anu was conducting EFT to get answers to Gauri’s craving. In another couple of minutes with glittery eyes, she stated, This reminds me of my sister who is in the US. She introduced her to Blueberry Cheesecake, since then at a subconscious level the Cake is her element or an expression of remembering her sister for close to a decade now.

I was just shocked to see this connection coming up in Gauri’s EFT session! It made me think, What is my connection? Why I crave for Blueberry Cheesecake?

I slept on this question for the coming few days. The weekend arrived, it was time I implement what I had learned in the EFT class and get my long due answer. I sat on a chair in my closed room. I started the tapping (part of EFT) and started visualising. Soon I recollected the first memory of my wife treating me with Blueberry Cheesecake! and that was my forgotten connection.

So what transpired before becoming parents, we both use to workout together every morning. On one of the occasions, post-workout she treated me with a Blueberry Cheesecake making me fall in love with this yumilicious piece. The memory of the cake was sweet, soft, mouth-melting delicious, talkative, supportive, expressive, vocal, strong; yet very simple and full of love.

As we become parents, we discontinued our couple workout regime. I started training on my own and she started going for her workouts later in the mornings. This disconnection did make me feel angry & upset, as the quality time we were spending together had gone missing. All I was left with was that emotion and craving of Blueberry Cheesecake in my state of mind.

All the passing years, whenever I used to crave for a Blueberry Cheesecake, I would drive her and my son to the cake shop relishing every bite melting with happiness and joy. It was my moment being together enjoying the feeling of a satiated stomach and giving my mind the due Love. This craving would always come to subside my anger, for weeks when I felt that I’vent spent quality time with my wife.

Sitting alone in the room, this was the moment of self-awareness. This was an eye-opener for me. I realised that becoming a parent cannot be the reason to put a stop to spending quality time with my wife and my relationship need not depend on a Blueberry Cheesecake further on.

After this acceptance I made sure we would go for a workout together once in a month, training together, having fun and expressing love to each other. Adding further we started going back to watching movies, shopping, going out for coffee, dine, drinks, going for long drives, sitting and chatting sensible or even senseless topics.

After that day, I explored my inner-self further and realised some more foods I had a craving for and their connections in my life:

Samosa – In my school days, during recess, I and my friends would go to the canteen, eat samosa’s together, followed by playing games or running around. Now being an adult and a family man, life has been on the move. Somewhere inside that child who wants to be with friends eat and play has been suppressed. On days when I want to be connected with my friends and their memories or feeling lonely, my desire of consuming a Samosa is very high. This way I could cherish my moments being with my friends and living the feeling of being accompanied. I termed this – “A relationship of Growth”.

Chicken – My mother has been a vegetarian throughout her life. In the yesteryears it was strongly believed and followed that meat secretes male hormones. Hence the women stayed away from the non-vegetarian food keeping their woman hormones intact. Because of this she never cooked non-vegetarian food. So my father took up cooking chicken for me and my brother in our childhood, which we three lavishly cherished together.

Living and rejoicing the moment with my father and brother, even today keeps me close to feeling loved, confident, belonged, enjoying togetherness while I take every bite of that juicy chicken. Feeding my stomach with finger-licking chicken makes me feel strong, muscular and getting the needed affection.

As I understood the secrets of my Cravings. I found the reasons, the impact and the emotional connections. All I had to do was look inside, accept the truth, re-affirm it and live with the knowledge of these cravings with self-awareness.

This unconventional approach made me use the Art to unfold Taste. That’s how the term – “Food Emotion Therapy” (FET) was born. Now I’ve been using this therapy to guide other people and impact their lives positively who would reach out to me for help and guidance.

Here are some real Food Emotion Therapy (FET) applications on few of my clients –

1. A wife – suffering from insomnia for years. When I performed FET on her, she revealed that most of the late evenings she has been craving for black coffee, as her husband spent 4 out of 7 days in a week travelling. This cup of coffee was her connection with her husband who was not sitting next to her. However, that cup of coffee was the feeling of being connected, spending time together, wanting to discuss her day, laugh on his stupid jokes. Unfortunately, this cup was keeping her hyperactive causing her insomnia. These FET sessions and her self-awareness slowly resolved her condition.
2. A son – loved the taste of a burger, consumed it almost every second day in his teenage. As he is in his late 20’s now, he still consumed it once a week. That burger which was treated by the father gave him the feeling of being loved and attention as the father never spent time with his son apart from this, being busy in his professional life. This emotional craving led him to obesity and chronic illness with an addiction to the burger. With the FET sessions, he’s now slowly improving his health.
3. A brother – from two brothers, one migrated to Australia and the younger one residing in Mumbai. The brother in Mumbai ate street food Chinese every evening, like how he used to eat with his elder brother before he migrated for good. Every evening both the brothers would go to the Chinese food joint, sit, eat and talk about how big losers they felt about themselves, as the parents were not happy with their academics and their professional career alignment. They would remove all their anger and frustration on the food. While doing this daily routine the elder brother worked out a plan on his migration and eventually migrated. The younger brother still searched for his answers as he sat at the Chinese food joint everyday hogging on the food all alone. The FET sessions made him aware of this connection and he’s now on the path to clean-eating.

Well, we all have our Cravings, somewhere linked to our emotions – grief, pain, fear, happiness, belongingness, separation, frustration, anger and more. Driven by the state of mind and fulfilled by the Stomach.

Quick afterword from Himanshu:

As mentioned in the essay by Bhupinder, just by reflecting inwards, you can start to understand about yourself in a whole new way. Perhaps also understand the connection of your cravings.

What do you crave for?

Let me know, in the comments.

If you want to get Food Emotion Therapy (FET) sessions or get nutritional advice, you can get in touch with Bhupinder here.

If you want to connect with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Master Trainer Dr Anu Mehta here is her – Website and Facebook.

References –

1. Emotional Freedom Technique or called EFT – Here is a good EFT Demo video.
2. Food Emotion Therapy or called FET.

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