Taking control of your life is in your own hands. When you are self-aware, even the tiny moments of deep clarity change the course of your life. Suppressing your emotions is not the right way of clearing them up, rather consciously going through them, observing them and resolving those tough moments is something which is a long-term solution.
This story is from Tanistha Arora – one of the strong women I know, who has been a great student of life, studied life sciences in her academia and subsequently holds a degree in Law. She’s worked with the National Commission for Women (NCW) and while working there she has handled cases of many abused women who had been through rape, sexual assault or were suffering from PTSD. She shares how that whole experience shaped her and a subsequent journey inward, kindled through meditation, inspired her to drop her blooming career in Law and how she embarked on the journey to fulfil her life purpose.
She’s a prolific writer and documenting her journey and I hope this story will inspire you.
[This story is part of the Lifestyle Design in Action series]
Enters Tanistha Arora
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
– Invictus by William Ernest Henley.
When Nelson Mandela was confined in the prison during the freedom movement of South Africa, he was internally struggling to find his true self. The poem became his lifeline and my journey also revolves around this.
Just for the background- I completed my under graduation in Life Sciences, graduation in Law and worked with National Commission for Women (NCW) for a year (although I no longer identify myself with such an introduction).
I believe I lived two lives –
- One – being as a person which everyone knows and identifies as super- confident, ambitious and highly organised.
- The other one – which only my soul knows as being broken, shattered and messed up.
Life was a complete roller coaster living heaven and hell together. I was a complete paradox owing to so many reasons and incidents that happened in my life. I used to ask Universe what wrong have I done? But three constants sailed me through – a big smile, an unending faith to seek the answers and a desire to fulfil my purpose of life, which will be the true victory.
The turning point of my life was in 2016 when I was first introduced to an ancient practitioner of meditation and a seed of spirituality was sown. At that point, I thought that from now on my life would be rosy and peaceful. But to the contrary, I was more confused as to what to do with my life because everything from my career to relationships made no more sense to me.
It went to the extent that I even thought of renouncing everything. But the fighter in me kept reminding me not to escape the reality but rather emerge out as a warrior. The dark ignorance was illuminated by the light of guidance eventually. I came across this beautiful concept of the ‘Middle Path’ which many scriptures and religions prescribe, to live your life in neutrality and abandon the extreme. It is about extremes of doing and undoing both, experiencing everything but not get lost, fulfilling your duty but still not attached. Even according to the yogic culture, a true yogi is one which has followed all the four paths- Kriya Yoga, Karma Yoga, Gnana Yoga and Bhakti Yoga.
Since then a lot has been changed in my life from my perspective towards living life to questioning my choices. On a superficial level, I have cherished the good moments and survived the bad moments and on a deeper level, life has become much more meaningful.
My workplace (NCW) brought me closer to discovering my purpose. Even at that time I was dealing with my own issues of anxiety and panic attacks. For a person who has been a victim of childhood sexual abuse, relationship abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts, PTSD, behavioural issues dealing with the complainants who had similar background was quite difficult. Although I was constantly working on my inner being, the facts of the case sometimes took me back to the past lane. But I never felt so compassionate and full of love. I felt immense happiness and satisfaction while helping the people in need and serving the society. I not only wanted to inspire them but also be their guiding light on how to deal with such issues and move on. From counselling women who are victims of rape, sexual harassment, domestic violence, abuse and trauma to handling other related cases, I realised that all the pain and trauma that I have been through in my initial years of life was meant for the greater good and healing of others. The feedback I received made me believe in my capabilities. It was equally necessary for me to work more on myself.
I eventually quit the job after a year, to embark on this new path which will lead me closer to fulfil my purpose and duty on a different level. My goals and vision are clearer than ever before.
Here are 10 takeaways from my journey which I would like to share –
- When you don’t know what to do, surrender to the Universe like a child to guide you, but don’t restrain yourself from an action.
- When any incident (good or bad) happens in your life, the aftermath is usually different. Don’t try the find the older you. That has evolved in the process. Embrace the newer you.
- The first rule of transformation is not holding on to your past (in whichever form). This has to be done through healing your body, mind and energy. You are a product of your past actions but the past should no longer dictate you while taking the future course of action. The reason I have intentionally refrained myself from sharing any specific events from my past here is this.
- An empty vessel doesn’t pour anything, no matter how beautiful it is. For you to give love and compassion, start loving yourself first (Don’t confuse this with obsession).
- Your passion is for you but your purpose should be for others. If you combine both, you will do miraculous things.
- The source of happiness is within you only. Don’t attach it to external things. Practice it. Remember smile and humour are like Brahmastra that can deal with any tough situation.
- Your journey is unique. If you have discovered your path, don’t let your ego look down on those who haven’t. If you have not, don’t feel jealous of those who have. Inferiority and superiority both are like poison.
- Living a meaningful and conscious life is sometimes contrary to social standards and the masses. The ones who truly belong to you will stay, but don’t hate those who left.
- “Ahem Brahma Asmi” or “I am the Buddha” meaning that the source of creation is within us. When in doubt, close your eyes and listen to your inner voice.
- NO MATTER WHAT happens in your life, we all have the potential to rise from the ashes like a phoenix.
P.S.: Love, Hope and Gratitude for all reading this.
Image Credits for the Middle Path symbol.
Quick afterword from Himanshu:
If you have been through tough times, knowing that it too shall pass is a liberating feeling. But more so, if you let those tough times evolve you and make you stronger.
As mentioned by Tanistha, taking the “Middle Path” can be a way of life.
Have you been through a situation where the incident of your past, came flashing in because of a present-day similar scenario?
Please share in the comments below and just know that you are not alone. We will be glad to know your story.
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